Hidden Abyss
by pluto kiss
Summary: The horrible feelings pent up inside one of our favorite people needs to be released. Read on to find out who it is and how he copes with the hidden depression of his ultimately perfect life --;
1. Starting off

Cutting has been spreading around my anime club like an epidemic.  We are the group of people with ordinary lives and nothing wrong.  

As I am just now starting to write this, it takes no place at any specific time.  It may change later however.    Maybe I got the idea from all the gundam wing angst fics I have been reading.

Sorry that the formatting is weird.  It is not uploading the WORD doc correctly and giving it no spaces at all… if you wish to help me with this horrible predicament, just write the advice in the review section.

~TEXT~ = thoughts in red color

"TEXT" = speaking in blue

It was a strangely warm summer day.  Of course, feelings can be very different from reality.  The pent up feelings needed to get out.  Yuki heard often on TV and other stories he read that he could cut to release his anger.  He thought he just might try that.  He was extremely angry with himself; of course, the sarcastic remarks from Kyo did not help his feelings.  ~Maybe I should tell someone about how I feel… but I don't want anyone to worry about me… it would only get in the way of others.  What should I do? ~ "I'll just leave things as they are," he softly whispered.  "You say something, Yuki?" Tohru Honda had asked.  "No, don't be silly," he said in his normal manner.  No one actually knew how Yuki felt.  No one had even guessed that Yuki felt this way.  How could someone as special as the rat, as lucky as the rat, feel even remotely close to this?

"How about a fight, you damn rat!?" Kyo snarled sharply as he was desperately wanted to beat the rat for once.  "No thanks…." Yuki said monotonously while walking away.  ~Something is not right here…~ Kyo thought.  ~Nah, I must be imagining it. ~

"Ah Yuki!" Shigure cried out and ran up to you Yuki while hugging… no, cutting off the circulation in his arm, "wanna make me dinner?"  "No," Yuki simply replied and walked upstairs as he needed to get away from everyone for a little bit.

Yuki closed the door leading into his room.  ~I wish everyone would just leave me alone for once. ~ He slipped out of his room and silently walked to the bathroom just down the hall.  ~My shaving razor…. ~ "One time won't hurt anything."  He picked up the razor and made a small knick in his arm.  ~Ah… that feels wonderful… I don't feel as depressed as I did before. ~ 


	2. Nothing Matters Anymore

MEEF!!!  (Means eeep) I did not realize that the first chapter was so fucking short lol sorry about that.  I am so out of it.  *bows and apologizes uncontrollably*   I'M EXTREMELY SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *smacks self on head then comes to senses* Anyways…

Yuki walked out of the bathroom, not knowing he had a watcher.  "What were you doing in there, Yuki?" Shigure had asked.  "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"  Yuki just smiled, though it was probably the worst fake smile he had ever made.  "Everything is fine, Shigure, I just slipped with the razor, is all."  ~I don't believe that is true Yuki, but you can tell me if you have a problem when you want to. ~ "All right then," Shigure simply responded, "just be careful not to slip again."  With saying the final words, he walked away.

A/N: A NEW DAY BEGINS 

*a middle-aged man in a diaper with a sign that says 'new day' runs across the screen while crying.*

END OF A/N ^_^

Damn.  Another stormy day.  Somehow, everyone expected this to come, even though yesterday was perfectly sunny and showed no signs of rain or cold wind.  But life is the same way, having an awesome time then something happens and BOOM!  The storm comes and never seems to leave.  But we have to put up with whatever we are given, or else we don't survive.  But how is it that some people are lucky and have hardly any hardships in life?  Another puzzling question Yuki had thought up.  Though the question seemed to nag at him day in and day out.  ~I am better off living the life of the cat, 'cause that is all that I seem to be now. ~ 

"Hey Yuki," a voice called from atop the stairs, "are you almost ready for school?"  "Yes Miss Honda," Yuki softly responded.  ~She will never notice the cut through this long sleeve shirt, although it would be horrible if I started to bleed.  I hope that doesn't happen.  I won't be like the idiotic people that get caught and sent to institutions. ~ 

The trip to school was different.  Shigure gave them a ride, since he was already going out to see his editor about his next deadline for the next book he was writing.  When Tohru, Kyo, and Yuki walked into the classroom, they had completely forgotten about Yuki's main influence that put him in the hidden depression, Akito.  "Nice to see you are looking well Yuki," he boldly stated with an extreme amount of cockiness (perverts ^_~;;).  "I don't want to talk to you right now, Akito," Yuki snapped out with anger that seemed to be against his character.  Akito gave the coldest stare and walked out of the class.  "That was… interesting… I wonder-" Kyo was cut off by Yuki telling everyone to forget what they saw.

By lunch time, everyone had done just that.  They got so wrapped up in next week's finals.  ~I can't… CONCENTRATE!!!~ "Excuse me, teacher, may I go to the restroom," Yuki quickly stated in front of the entire class.  Not once did he ever have to go to the bathroom during the middle of class, because he was the good student and went before.  

In the bathroom, Yuki had removed the sleeve on his shirt of the cut arm.  He looked around to make sure no one was in the restroom, and he took out a razor he brought to school.  He gave a few more slits on his arm and the blood ran down the sink, easing his pain and helping him regain his concentration.  He walked back to class and the rest of the day seemed fine.

After school, after the walk home, Yuki had gone to his room again.  He was strangely locking himself up in his room which was very unusual, but no one noticed anything going wrong in his world.  ~I feel horrible now. ~ By this time, Yuki had collapsed on his floor into tears.  The tears weren't unheard however.  Shigure ran to Yuki as soon as he heard the sobs.  "I knew something was the matter.  Tell me what is wrong, Yuki."  Yuki only succeeded in pushing Shigure farther away from his heart when he knocked Shigure into the wall and dashed outside.  ~Maybe I should go to my secret base, they would never find me there, nor would they care to look. ~

Okay, hopefully this chapter turns out better than the last one.

Kyo: *punches Pluto* THE LAST CHAPTER WAS A DISGRACE TO ALL FANFICTIONS!!!  ESPECIALLY US, THE CAST OF FRUBA!!!

Pluto: *whimpers in corner* I'm sorry…

Yuki: So ke ^_^

Pluto: Yea

Akito: *rapes Pluto*

Pluto: *cries*

After that little bit of… insanity… I regained my sanity and began to write more of my ending chapter note heh heh.  Again, super sorry.  Ja Ne, hope you at least glance the story, flames welcome.  I don't really care.


	3. Denouement

Okay, so fanfiction.net did not update my first chapter, and did not add my second chapter, that took forever… They make me angry sometimes. Oh well… here is part three, if you have not lost interest yet in this horribly boring story. -_-;   and the damn borders aren't working either.

Yuki ran through the crying forest.  The rain dampened his shirtless back and pants falling off because of the heaviness made by the water.  When he reached the garden, he turned around to see who might have caught up with him.  He saw no one in the dark black forest.

A/N: Dark black forest… reminds me of the DDR song ^_~;

He had reached his secret base but decided to keep running.  ~I can't let them see me like this.  I am so weak… ~ "You are not weak, Yuki," said a voice from the treetops.  The figure jumped down from the top limb of a high tree.  The figure was surprisingly Kyo.  ~I didn't know that Kyo could pretend to care, not the slightest bit had I expected that. ~ "Come back to Shigure's house with me and we can talk about your feelings."  By the time those words came out, Yuki had collapsed into tears as he curled up on the ground.  Kyo slightly twitched as he walked over and helped Yuki up and comforted him.

Kyo walked Yuki back to the house, where Tohru, Shigure, and Haru were waiting for him.  "Tohru… Shigure… Haru… I…" Yuki was cut off as he passed out into Haru's arms (cute lol ^_^).  

"He is so cute when he sleeps," Haru said as he viewed the sleeping Yuki.  ~I so need him to get better, I will die if he doesn't. ~ Haru thought silently as he started to doze off with Yuki still in his arms.  "We could all use some sleep right about now, good night guys," Shigure said to everyone.  Kyo was the last to leave the sleeping pair.  He walked into his room upstairs and got in bed but never fell asleep.  ~Yuki…if you feel bad, it is my fault, I know it is… ~ Kyo softly cried under the sheets of his bed and eventually fell asleep. 

The next morning, Yuki awoke to find Haru bringing in a tray full of Yuki's favorite foods.  "You didn't have to Haru…" Yuki said monotonously.  "You are awake, finally, sleepy head," Haru said with a big grin plastered to his face.  "Why are you so happy" Yuki had asked.  "Oh, no reason."  Shigure had just walked in and said, "Yuki, do you feel any better?"  "I… no, I don't."  Yuki had tears forming in his eyes.  Haru softly hugged him and asked him what was wrong but he got no reply from the rat.

Tohru also was the next to walk in when she saw everyone gathered in Yuki's room.  Since today was Saturday, it was also her weekly shopping day.  "Does anybody need anything from the grocery store?  Oh Yuki!  You're awake!  Hope you feel better.  Sorry but I can't stay, I wish I could though."   "It's okay; I understand completely that you are busy."

Tohru walked out, and as soon as everyone left Yuki's room, he wanted to join her, but he also had something else on his mind.  Yuki snuck out of the house and to the city.  He had a strange urge to talk to Akito about how he feels but he knew that would be a horribly foolish move.  Akito would probably just end up making the situation worse and end up raping Yuki as well.  Yuki got onto the bus and paid his fair, but he had no idea of where he was going.  He had no set destination.  ~I guess I could go see my old friend. ~

Yuki got off the bus when it reached the stop across from the cemetery.  He walked to the cemetery and opened the door of the main office and passed on through without being noticed.  He climbed up the daunting stairs that seemed to stretch for miles.  Finally reaching the top, Yuki had dashed past two gravestones that were the gravestones of his father and mother.  Instead of stopping at those, he continued in a full speed dash that took him to his old friend's gravestone.

"Been a long time, old friend," he softly whispered to the wind.  Yuki had begun to cry as he pulled out a slip of paper and a pen.  He began to write at what seemed like a long note.  When he finished, he stared at the gravestone for what seemed like a minute or two.  Pulling out what seemed to be a gun from his pants pocket; he loaded it and got it ready for shooting.  He also pulled out a knife and made a large slice through his chest and used the blood and one finger to write a message out on the ground around him.  As his living breath gave away, his final words "Time to see if people actually care about me."  He pulled the trigger and lay limp on the grave and did not move.

A few hours later, Shigure and crew had heard from a person on the street that they saw a shirtless boy with purplish hair run towards the graveyard.  They dashed to the graveyard, but apparently they were too late.  The limp and lifeless body's soul had already departed.  On the ground, they saw, was a message of blood.

_My emotions were locked up emotions kept away inside the void of the heart.  The hidden abyss, created so none of you would worry.  It went too far, I'm sorry._


	4. Piercing Afterthoughts

**_CUTTING AND SUICIDE ARE NEVER THE ANSWERS TO ANY PROBLEM NO MATTER WHAT.  IF YOU WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND/OR CUT, YOU SHOULD TELL AN ADULT RIGHT AWAY_**_!!!_

I am really bored, so I thought I would put a summary of what the other major characters thought about Yuki's suicide.

**Shigure**: "I had no fucking idea that Yuki had felt that way.  I wish I could have helped him…" shortly afterward the death of Yuki, Shigure had fallen into a deep depression and died.

**Kyo**: "The damn…rat…is gone…" Kyo continues with his life as usual, or so he tried.  He hid his true feelings of Yuki's death from everyone so he would seem strong.  Kyo feels that Yuki's suicide was his fault.  Never knowing whether he did effect Yuki's decision, he has to live with the pain of never being able to be better than Yuki

**Tohru**: She never said a word about how she felt.  She began to cut to release her aggression.  She too died from depression.

**Akito**: Did you really think Akito would be sad if Yuki died?  I think not.  Akito just now has no one to torture as far sadist pain goes.

I forgot anyone, let me know!


End file.
